A Flawed Christianity?

I was just reading through some things I wrote down a while ago. This one was written in October 2007, so it was a while ago, and it explains a little about my gradual slide from Christianity. I thought it was interesting that I tried to hold onto it, almost as if I was trying to make it real by believing it, and that I gave it every chance to give me a revelation. But obviously, it failed. Anyway, here are some ramblings from almost 2 years ago.

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In my thinking I have been driven to question a great many things, one of them being my faith in God. I cannot stop, even now, to think. My mind will not leave the subject alone. All the time I am thinking of new ways that it cannot be real. The latest is an evolution on relative thinking.

It must be understood that I am no advocate of relative truth, as I believe it to be a silly proposition to make. To say that ‘relative truth exists’ in any meaningful way is to impose an absolute nature on it. Of course, things can be relative sometimes, such as my feelings, but not everything is relative. Much less than we would like to think, or it must at least be this way for God to be real.

Relative cannot exist; by logic it argues against itself.

With that in mind, I would like to point to something so common that we miss it. It is the idea of opinion, belief, value, or any other personal word you would like to use. When we say opinion, we often do not understand the full weight of the word. To say that someone has an opinion is to say that they believe something which is not necessarily true, that’s why it’s called an opinion.

We cannot escape this. Whenever something is said, understood or experienced, it is understood via the medium of opinion. And the funny thing is that opinions are relative to the individual. No one could seriously say that everyone is of the same opinion.

With this in mind, let us approach the mighty topic of God and ask a question, how do we know God?

Quickly the Christian jumps in to say, “oh by the bible”! Can you ever get more obvious than that?

But what is the bible? It’s a book written by a man. “No, God wrote it!” says the Captain Obvious Christian. Yes, I know. The bible is the inspired word of God. But just let me go for a minute here.

The bible is written by men; Moses, Paul, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, etc. The simple fact is that men wrote it. Deal with it. Who collated it? Men. Who decided what went into it? Men. Who preserved it? Men. Who translated it? Men. Who publishes it? Men.

On and on and on. And before all you women get your knickers in a knot, I say men to mean humans, male and female.

It never really ends. It always comes back to men. Who reads the bible? Men. Who writes books about the bible? Men. Who taught men to read? Men. Who taught men to write? Men.

It’s frustrating, but the point is that it always comes back to men. Christians talk about listening to God’s testimony about man and not man’s testimony about man, but how in the world do we do that? Sure, the bible might be divinely inspired, but who’s reading it? If we are to have the correct understanding of God, then we must be inspired as we read it, AT LEAST TO SOME DEGREE.

So herein lies the flaw of Christianity. I cannot disprove the existence of God, indeed no one can. But I can show you the flaw of man. Even if God were real, we would still be lost, because we are all still mere men. We are all still figuring everything out on our own.

So to return to the idea about opinion, Christianity is nothing but another opinion. Prove me wrong. WITHOUT using your opinion.

Such a task is impossible, and of course, everything stated here is just another opinion. So why am I right? Well, to be honest, I don’t really think myself right. But think about it this way. God is an absolute. He must exist whether or not I have an opinion or not. Yet the only way you can give me God, is via an opinion, if not yours, then another man’s. And if you say it’s God’s, then I will tell you that it’s your opinion of what God said to you. Which basically reduces it to nothing, unless of course you’re divinely inspired. But who should say that? Because you can’t; it would just be another opinion of yours.

This is my opinion, you have yours. So what? Well, you will probably keep believing. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just something worth noticing. It’s worth understanding that the only way we know God, is via man. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY!

Unless God himself were to meet me. But how could I do anything with that experience if it were just my opinion of the experience?

God is not flawed, but Christianity is. Please tell me how I can know God without telling me your opinion.

There is no way. There is no option. It is perhaps a depressing thought, and I myself might be just on a rant. I may one day, sooner or later, return to my faith in God, for better or worse. I would hope that God is real and I find him, for my sake. I know that he is the greatest person I could know, but only if he is real. If he’s not then it’s just wishful thinking.

Although it’s sad if there is no God, it does not mean that we have to run from it. There is much sadness in this world, throughout the ages. It is a universal feeling and when it comes to us, we want to run from it. Just as the sad man who’s just divorced his wife knows that he has divorced his wife, I know that although it’s sad if God is not real, I must not run from it.

If God is real, then he is here, hearing me type and knowing my thoughts before even they come into my mind. He knows my heart and my strength. He sees the road I am going down and he sees my choices before I have made them. He hears my questioning, and perhaps he answers. He is not worried in the slightest, for he knows exactly how they will pan out. He knows the answers to all my questions and doubts, yet if he really is there, I’m having a hard time finding him.